Interviews . . .

Yesterday I went for an interview at a school in Rotherham, and from the outset I felt uneasy. I walked into a room where two of my PGCE mates were sat, and two PGCE students from Shef Uni. Then came our scheduled "welcome". The head of English and an assortment of ass(istant)-heads and deputy heads sat there opposite us, while the headteacher bored us to death with his philosophies. He boasted that his school added 10% if not more to the value of the houses in the area, and that their value-added score was second only to a Sheffield school in the region: a fact which apparently irritates him beyond belief. He believed that teaching was a vocation, and that even after a full school day, teachers should go home and "still be thinking about the kids when you're watching Coronation Street."

Before I had time to dwell on this I was whisked off to prepare for my 50-minute lesson, 10 minutes of which was wasted while the class teacher and the deputy head fannied about. The lesson was ok, although I had to move one kid, and I was generally under the impression that the kids were snotty and arrogant. It made me long for normal city kids who have interesting personalities . . .

I then had a tour of the school conducted by two Year 8s, but was unfortunately accompanied by a complete burk (sp?) named Andrew. I can't begin to describe how annoying he was, but even his mate from university found him impossible, as do all of their coursemates apparently.

By this time I was filled with doubt, and couldn't imagine myself working there at all. This was cemented when we had an informal Q&A session with three members of the department. They were nice enough, though not my type of people, but I got the impression that everything is intensely target-driven, and that if your kids don't get the grades they should, you'll have the whole department breathing down your neck. This is not as it should be. It also became clear that no one in the department had been there longer than 6/7 years, which reminded me of my high school: the new head arrived, and all the older members of staff were driven out by insane new measures, requirements and pressures. Of 14 full time members of staff in the department, only one was not female, and only two were over thirty. Everywhere we looked were young women, and the head also boasted that the Head of History was 27. His motto: "if you're good enough, you're old enough."

So I went into the formal interview after lunch and told them I wasn't a firm candidate. No one asked me why, which I found bewildering. I've put it down to arrogance on their part. The head merely said, "Well that was a short interview!" and looked at me epecting me to leave. I stayed put with my glass of water, smiled sweetly and asked, "Could I have some feedback on my lesson?" So the head went off to fetch the net candidate while the head of department rummaged through the notes that she didn't make, and even though there was plenty written she told me only, "you could focus on what the students learn rather than what they will do" (which is quite useful) and, from the class teacher's notes, "it would have been useful to let the students know what they have to do to achieve a level 5 or a level 6". And I thought, "For fuck's sake! I've definitely made the right decision."

After I'd gone, two girls were offered jobs, and the aforementioned Andrew contested the decision, demanded to see the deputy head and stormed off! A hilarious and fitting end, I think.