Some things make me really relieved to be British:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/apr/29/italy1

I do have happy times, honest

Today I was part of the boring coursework moderation process for the entire day. Some of my pretend marks were fine, but others were hilariously far out, so yet again I'm back to feeling insecure.

I also faced some weird doubts from two people about my idea to assess GCSE Macbeth coursework using oral interviews rather than getting the kids to write yet another damned essay - they're bored and I'm bored, so what have we got to lose? "Ooh, it'd be very difficult and might actually take up more time than marking essays." / "The moderation process is really strict and it's quite hard for them not to lose marks"/"you'd have to do them one by one and use your lunch hours because you can't have a class of 32 doing something else."/etc etc

(I realise this is all extremely boring, but I need to vent.)

To top a dull day off, I went to the work room after school, looking for the cover work I'd set, and one of the older members of staff told me (in an extremely nice way) that I shouldn't have told any of my students about inflation and the teachers' strike because it could be construed as being "political". Firstly, by telling them about pay-related issues I'm actually teaching a bit of "Citizenship"; secondly, they knew I was going on strike anyway, so therefore they also already knew about my politics!

Whatever I do, I'm going to get criticised for it . . . I'm beginning to realise this now. But seeing as I actually have a personality, I'm going to have to develop a tough skin and battle on regardless.

I was told on Saturday by a girl I'd not seen for years that I was too cool to be a teacher. Too individualistic, that's for sure.

A Political Militant

I am on strike tomorrow. Not by accident, but because I actually voted for strike action. Doesn't it make every bit of sense for my salary to remain in line with inflation? It's not like my rent and food costs are not going to rise by 4.4% (or thereabouts).

Evidently, however, my strange upbringing (hanging out with other kids at local Labour Party meetings while the grown-ups talked about whatever), has rendered me incapable of seeing how disgusting taking strike action is.

I was hanging around in reprographics, waiting to get a ream of paper for the staffroom photocopier, but there was no one around except a fellow NQT (Science, PHD) who I've always found to be extremely supercilious and strangely pious. To make small-talk I asked if she was striking. No, she said, but was I? I said I was, and she took that opportunity(?) to espouse about how the very reason she didn't join the NUT was because of "things like this" and their "militant" reputation.

Militant reputation! She must have missed every news report, because everything I've heard and read says this is the first strike in over 20 years. I found it hilarious at this point cuttingly remark, "Well, I am from a militant background," to which she didn't respond, except to tell me that she saw herself as extremely privileged to be earning the money she was AND she'd taken a pay cut to teach.

She made some attempt to recover the conversation by then telling me, "But if you do get us a pay raise I won't say no!" I grimaced. I should have said, "But we're all so privileged. Won't you waiver your pay for the government to assign to those who need it more?"

What a twat. I will take every opportunity to give her ambiguous but possibly dirty looks in the future.

Berlin Pictures

I've just organised all my photos on Flickr and I can't be bothered to upload them again, so if you're bothered, you can click here then click the square Berlin picture on the right hand side to get them in the proper order.

I'm back from Berlin, but more about that later.

More importantly, we just saw the Sheffield University Challenge captain in Tesco! We were very excited because he was extremely clever. They only just got beaten in the final by some Oxbridge team. I would've said something, but I was grinning in far too inane a manner.

Now I'm on holiday and all the time is mine, I think I've got creativity stage-fright.

Brian says, "Use an unacceptable color," which, if I'm honest, isn't remotely helpful.

Prioritorise, Jess. Prioritorise.

PS. "ise" endings vs "ize". I always thought "ize" was American and therefore used "ise", but according to woman in my department, it's the other way round. I need to investigate and change my whole spelling system . . .

Edit: I wasn't wrong but neither were they. Wikipedia and this site say that "ize" is the only form used in America, while in the UK two-thirds of people use "ise", including newspapers and magazines. However, the OED and thus many academic journals insist on "ize". I'm more right than they were. Ha!

Get your Ryan Adams fill while you still can . . .

Ryan Adams has finished writing the songs for his new album and the new Cardinals album, and so the blog is apparently over.

I'm genuinely going to miss it. It's totally bizarre to read through the creative left-overs of someone famous as they're in the process of creating . . . and fascinating.

This is his last video, and apparently a song off his forthcoming album. Probably the best song he's shown for an age:


CROSSED-OUT NAME from Ryan Adams on Vimeo.

Perhaps the site will stay up even if he isn't posting any more. Probably not though.

Karaoke at The Old Crown

What an excellent way to spend the night of the last day of term.

I met up with my buddies from PGCE for a couple of ales (why can't I write "ales" without thinking about Richard E. Grant? "Ale" sounds so much better than "bitter" . . .) which was excellent. There wasn't too much depressing teaching chat, and I surprisingly wasn't as tired as I'd expected myself to be.

The Old Crown is immense. It's a favourite haunt of Pete and Tom because of the excellent atmosphere and the fact that the locals were characters worthy of stories: Stan (I think) who talked his way through his songs; a fifty-something woman clad in animal print who sang as if she had a life of lost love; an older woman with a soul-diva voice - truly great.

Pete was without doubt the best performer of the night, really getting into Dancing in the Dark and Living On A Prayer, and my other companions did sterling Oasis covers.

But the rotters put my name down while I was at the bar and suddenly "Jess" was announced. Being a good sport, I got up and did Tainted Love, with backing vocals by Tom and Paul. They were very nice about my performance afterwards, but it was a pretty surreal experience. I felt like I had no control over my voice, and I was hitting bum notes all over the place. Plus, it was pretty low for me, so I sounded like a boy.

For my public singing debut though, it wasn't too bad. Next time though, I'll be sure to find something in my range.

Sometimes . . .

. . . I come home and I have to behave in a really ludicrous way to remind myself of who I am.

Stupid dancing in the kitchen (MC Hammer via Turk from Scrubs sort of style), playing stupid guitar riffs and ridiculous drum beats, dressing in a strange outfit, putting my hair in bunches.

It's probably because the holidays are almost within reach, and because I've had so much marking and have been so tired lately, but I really feel like school robs me of my personality. I'm scared I'm going to start acting, at school, in more and more obtuse and idiosyncratic ways and get myself a reputation for being a complete fucking weirdo.

I like kids, but I still don't think anyone under 18 knows shit . . . so does it matter?

I'm too tired to care.