Emotional see-saw

... thinking back to what I wrote last night, and how shit I now feel. I wrote the following on the student discussion board for English PGCE:

"Perhaps it's because I got used to having James to feed back to (read, "whinge") at Meden, but I'm feeling completely out of my depth at this school and I'm totally miserable.

I did two lessons and a starter today, and the one lesson that I thought went okay and which the students enjoyed got subtley panned by my mentor who hinted that the students like "planned activities rather than discussion". The discussions were completely planned! Thankfully, the Year 10 students who wouldn't listen to my starter weren't any better behaved for their usual teacher so I didn't feel quite so crap about that, but in retrospect it was still a rubbish activity. How come I never realise that beforehand when it's so bleedin' obvious afterwards??

I'm lucky enough to have two interviews coming up (on Friday and on Tuesday), but they're only making me feel more stressed, and my planning abilities are so awful that I feel I don't deserve a job anyway.

Perhaps my crap marks from placement one were deserved after all . . .

Hope everyone else is buzzing off their amazing lessons! If you have any planning tips for turning your long-term plans into medium-terms ones, give me a shout. Please please please. I'm drowning in my chaos of ideas and papers and student information not unlike the gas attack victim in Dulce et Decorum Est. Well, sort of.

On a positive note, it's Shrove Tuesday and I will stuff myself with fat and sugar tonight."

Tiredness and/or mentally unstable? I'm not coping, that's for sure.