Evil Knievel RIP

http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,2220208,00.html

I got Bjork tickets - hooray! It's not until May, but these long-term plans give you something to look forward to I suppose. I'm still undecided about whether to go to ATP vs Pitchfork however, which is also in May . . . hmm. I should probably worry about what I'm buying people for Christmas this year instead. This is causing numerous problems, because our local postal service for parcels has seemingly ground to a halt. We're currently waiting on three parcels, all of which are at least 9 days overdue - one of which is an electromagnetic/ultrasonic rodent repelling thing which turns the electrical system in your house into a "forcefield".

Christmas - it isn't even December yet.

I like to dance; I hate dance.

Sometimes you have an experience which enables you to remember why exactly you hate something that you hate.

So it was last night, when the monthly fun at the H@rley turned into a shite dance disco and my ears were populated by the ugly rhythms of house music. We stuck around for a while, hoping the offensive DJs would be replaced by people who like music; but the longer you stay, the longer you have to stay ("we've stayed this long - it's got to get better soon, surely?"), and the more miserable you become.

It really annoyed me. Weekends are precious and I don't want to waste time and energy amongst a group of people who would probably dance to the noises of a decrepit central heating system if it was loud enough.

Couldn't it have been advertised as a dance special? Then I wouldn't have bothered, could have got up bright and early today and felt productive. Instead I'm grumpy and hungover from having to drink Grolsch and it's almost 1.30pm and I'm not dressed yet.

I look forward to next month when normal service will be resumed.

Creative Missions

Warren of Heart Yeah excellence has come up with an amazing idea: he will take every number 1 single, buy it, scrutinise it, strip it down and record a new version using only a gameboy and two vocal tracks. He's doing all this on his new blog which is fantastically ungrammatically called All Your Top 40 Are Belong To Us and you can find his cover of Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis there now. (I'll put a link to his site in my link bar at some point.) I wish the vocals were mixed higher, but it's really very good, and it's exciting that someone's actually doing something creative and interesting. Lately, everyone (me included) seems to be in a creative lull . . . it's probably just the cold. And/or horrible kids. Etc.

So, I made a pumpkin cake. I'm celebrating Autumn, see.

Oblique Strategy of the day

"Don't break the silence."

It's been a pretty hectic week, and my poor knees are suffering from all the driving I've done, so this one seems pretty relevant.

I'm bored of Oblique Strategies now. They only serve to remind me of how little time I have to do anything creative at the moment. This week, in particular, is going to be quite harsh in terms of relaxation and productive time. Tonight, I have to write out lesson plans for tomorrow because the school's having a mini-OFSTED (there'll only be 3 inspectors, and they're only there for the day). The chances of me being seen teaching are quite slim, but on the off-chance, I need make sure I've covered myself. So, a Year 10 lesson which would normally consist of pupils drafting their coursework, will now incorporate a number of activities.

Tomorrow, when not hiding in the staffroom so that the inspectors can't interrogate me, I need to prepare for the following day's Year 7 parents' evening. This will be my first solo parents' evening, and I'm going to be quite nervous. Firstly, I only see one of my classes once a week and don't know some of their names, so when a parent says, "I'm Sam's mum," I will be desperately racking my brain to remember the child in question and will instead look at my mark book and think, "Well, I have no idea how often he contributes in class, but he seems to do homework to a reasonable standard." Secondly, this is a high-achieving school, and I just know that some parents are going to start grilling me about how their child can reach the next attainment level. Snore.

Meanwhile, I'll be itching to get away because I'll need to drive to Leeds with a carload of folk to go to the Beirut gig. I'm pretty excited about that and looking forward to a rare girls' night out.

Then Friday, I need to take a trip to Liverpool for my siblings' birthdays.

I'm tired just thinking about it all.

No, I'm just tired.

Teaching seemed okay last week. This week it's boring the shit out of me . . .

Oblique Strategy of the day and unrelated thoughts

"Do we need holes?"

Good question, Brian. Usually I can bend an Oblique Strategy to fit anything in life, much like the way people read horoscopes, but this one is causing me problems. Maybe it should be "wholes" . . .

I'm sucking on Strepsils in the hope that my voice will return in time for school. It disappeared after I went to see Rolo Tomassi at the Casbah on Wednesday. They were on good form, surreally fancy-dressed in a tiger suit, monk's robe, a small dress, etc. In addition to her leopard print skirt-suit, the singer was wearing a mask which Pat thought was meant to be Toby Anstis, but I wasn't sure. Anyway, trying to have a conversation over the support bands has left me sounding like I have a forty-a-day habit. Hilariously though, the kids at school have only one frame of reference, and I heard two of my Year 10 boys muttering that I must have been to a Sheffield United or Sheffield Wednesday game (which is odd in itself, because they already know which teams I give a remote crap about, and it's neither of those).

Up until the smoking ban, I'd always assumed my morning-after gravelly tones were due to inhaling everyone's "social" smoke. Now I've realised it's purely from shouting over background music that's invariably too loud (forgive me if I sound old, but we all know it's true), so ironically, the smokers who stand outside the whole evening are probably better-off throat-wise that anyone else.

So last night was Rough Disko's third birthday, which unfortunately clashed with a free Crystal Castles gig and wasn't as full as otherwise. Still, DOTS were excellent as usual, and seem to have easily enough really good material for their first album.

The other band were Camp Actor, whose performance I ruined for Ian because I thought the singer looked like The Sandman (amazing animation: watch it):



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjgHbRrnjhU

Oblique Strategy of the day

"Use filters."