Fly Agaric

Ian's parents have these mushrooms in their garden:






















No gnomes though.

Philip French on Bennett's "The History Boys"

"But there's a moment when the assured Dakin is embarrassed and humiliated to discover he's been mispronouncing the name of Nietzsche that rings absolutely true. It brought back painful memories I've been trying to suppress all my life."

Brilliant.

Bad Dreams . . .

I had a very disturbing dream last night.

Kylie Minogue was performing on a TV show. She had ultra-short hair and was ineffably skinny. She suddenly stopped singing and put out a hand as if to steady herself against a wall, but she just crumpled onto the floor and someone stated, "She's dead!"

I'm not even a fan, but I felt so freaked out I wouldn't get out of bed to go to the toilet.

Actually, boring "General Professional Studies" lectures and seminars aside, I'm feeling remarkably cheerful and fulfilled. This is usually unheard of for me when Winter is fast approaching, and especially so now, when I have to get up at 6.45am while it's still as dark as midnight.

On a totally unrelated topic, I have to confess that I am already addicted to Strictly Come Dancing, again. My comic attempts at jiving are driving Ian round the bend . . . My money's on Mark Ramprakash, though that's subject to change.

On Boredom: a Dramatic Monologue

[Directly to audience.] Halfway through and I can feel the sensation spread across what I believe to be my frontal lobe. Instantaneously, all thought-processing abilities shut down and my consciousness retreats back into the now vacant space of my mind, confused, lonely, bewildered, with only the perpetual drone of the dullest lecturer I've had the misfortune to hear providing any external stimulus.
[More desperate, neurotic.] I begin to feel acutely aware of the fragility of mortality.
It occurs to me that my existence is slowly receding as I sit, voluntarily, in submission to a very pointless experience.
The very inevitability of time passing suddenly takes on a desperate and painful association, and I know, in a flash, what that association is:

unbearableness.

[Flops back, overcome by the ineffable nature and intensity of boredom.]

News Show Gimmicks

Oh dear. To illustrate the debate over Muslim women's veils, Newsnight put a "veil" on their camera so that most of the screen was black with a small gap in the middle. Ridiculous, especially given that anyone wearing a full veil would be able to see perfectly well.

Also on tonight was a celebrity talent show, but unfortunately I can't get Channel 5. Stephen Gately doing magic tricks, Oona King playing piano and Toby Anstis performing ballet: what a line up. Unfortunately the line up on Strictly Come Dancing (which starts tomorrow) is not nearly as good as last year, so I doubt I'll be watching (if I'll be watching at all) with the same eagerness.

(Disclaimer: Colin Jackson is one of my childhood heroes so I had to watch.)

I was stood in the garden on Saturday afternoon when I heard a wave of noise. My first thought was that it was a football cheer, but it went on for so long that I couldn't believe it could be. But then the singing started and I realised it must be the sound of supporters at Bramall Lane, at least two miles away.

It reminded me of being at home in Newcastle and running outside whenever the Magpies scored, just in case the wind was blowing in the right direction and I'd be able to hear the cheers.

I still resolve to go to a football match at some point in my life.