I asked my Year 10s to translate this message (which was posted on my sister's Facebook wall by one of her school friends) into Standard English. They thought it was hilarious, particularly when I read it to them in a high-pitched Geordie charver voice:
DUDE MAN HOW FUNY WUD IT B 2 B A COW!!! a told me ma n laurie n they wer lyk r u takin th mick thats nt funy and a was lyk hello id b a cow wots nt funy about that! n me ma was lyk katie id undastand if u wer ugly n fat bt ur nt plz dnt go as a cow. bt 2 b fair ad b geet sweatin wudnt a? av got a lush dres frm ted baker n a cud wear that n be a cow 4 me 21st. im cany xcitd 4 th birth actualy even tho im guna b old n decreppid! u beta nt treat ursel 2 that hazza p soundtrak or al bray yer!
im guna go chin them 2mz al let yer no th results lv du xxxxxxx
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